Read Dysfunctional Thanksgiving, if you haven’t already, and then we will pick up from there.
36 hours from Thanksgiving Day and I don’t know what to expect. My sister sent a letter to my mom explaining why she feels the way she does. It really opened the door for reflection and reconciliation. My siblings and I got a copy as proof that it was not mean spirited or hateful, which was most assuredly the accusation that would be hurled from the receiving end. The letter was very well written and had not one negative or hateful word. It was written in honesty and grace.
There was a bit of an instant messaging frenzy taking place between my mom and sister after the letter was read. Mom stating she was not invited to Thanksgiving, which the letter clearly states she was invited. Mom stating she never talks negatively about us, but which she does and so on and so on and so on.
Then, something in the air completely changed.
Within the span of just a few hours my mom went from angry mom to victim mom to martyr mom to super mom. My head is swimming but I like super mom. It’s a nice change. I hope she stays there. So, for now, I am just going to sit back, enjoy the show and pretend that this switch is real and forever and that we will have the perfect family relationship from now on. I know the switch will reverse itself in time from super mom to martyr mom to victim mom to angry mom but for now, I will just settle into this little happy spot and enjoy it. It feels like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold day or being wrapped in my husband’s arms. Contentment.
My mom’s health is extremely bad and I would not be surprised if this is her last year on earth. So, even though our relationship is extremely dysfunctional, I am thankful that she is with us, that she is trying to be less critical and that she is super mom today. So, if your family relationships are a little rocky, try to see just one positive attribute of each person. Just one and then focus on it. It won’t fix everything and maybe not anything, but in the long run, it will help your own well being. God bless.